People in verbally abusive relationships often feel "un-liked," and in some cases hated, by their partners. It's the conditioning of an abusive relationship. Repeatedly, they are told how awful they are.
Verbal Emotional Abuse Is Toxic
Verbal abuse is toxic to the core, and over time leaves mental memories of self-destruction and relationship destruction. People showered with verbal and emotional abuse become convinced of the message carried in the verbal assault.
This conviction, in turn, challenges their will to work on therapeutic remedy, because deep down inside they believe that their partners hate them. But these partners abused verbally adore their "loved" ones. And what is really hated is not the abused, but their perception of the abused person's unwillingness to nourish them.
Verbal Emotional Abuse Is a Weapon of Defence
The abuser's perception of their partner's unwillingness to nourish them is at the core of what drives verbal abuse. So while you may think it is an "attack," when you look at it from what inspires it... you will see it is a defence of their inner injury. Or shall I say, it is an "offensive defence."
The verbal abuser's attack is a reflexive gesture to protect the wounded experience they project. It's not about you. It's all about them and their perception of your relationship with them.
This single awareness has helped couples coast-to-coast get beyond the impasse of feeling "un-liked" by their partners. Truly getting this understanding, results in a shift to embrace therapeutic remedy.
The Pain of Verbal Abuse
If you are in an abusive relationship characterized by episodes of verbal beatings, trust your gut: the atmosphere in your relationship is toxic. And also know that the violence that rolls off your partner's tongue is their pain oozing out.
And this pain results from their interpretation of circumstances before them and between the two of you. Now here's the good part... When verbal abusers recognize this, they are more ready to break the cycle of verbal abuse.
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