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Tuesday, December 18, 2012

IF YOU CAN'T TRUST THEM, YOU HAVEN'T GOT A RELATOINSHIP


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By Barr Godson Nwachukwu














Trust is an absolute essential between partners. It doesn't matter whether you're talking about being faithful, sticking to promises, keeping spending within what you can afford, or anything else. If you can't trust someone, you'll never be happy.

Of course there are lots of reasons why you can't trust someone. Maybe they have a track record of being untrustworthy. Maybe you just have hunches. Maybe they didn't tell the truth about some small things and you wonder what else they weren't entirely honest about. It doesn't matter. You just have to be able to trust them.

Then again, maybe it's you. Maybe you've been lied to in the past and you find it impossible to trust people. Well then, I'm afraid you still don’t have a relationship, and you never will have until you learn to trust. I know it's tough, especially if your suspicions have been justified in the past, but that's why you deserve a good relationship now. And you won’t get it unless; you can deal with the trust thing.

How will your friend or partner feel? They're behaving impeccably, they've done nothing wrong, they're being as honest as they can be, and still you mistrust them. That can bring down or ruin a relationship. They'll feel you just don’t love them.

However justified you were in the past, it isn't fair to your new friend to make them pay for someone's else mistakes. Deep down, I think you know whether it is you or them that's causing your mistrust and you need to be honest with yourself about where the problem is coming from.

My advice is, if your friend or partner is either doing the dirty on you, or is so secretive you can't tell whether they are or not, have it with them and if you can't get them to be more honest, get out while you can. And if it is you that's behind the problem, find some way to sort it out. I've seen people throw away good relationships and cause themselves great damage by failing to tackle their own inability to trust. If you're still looking for your Mr or Miss Right, best sort this out quick before you meet them. I wouldn't want you to blow the whole thing just because someone in your past was stupid enough to betray you.

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