Joseph Yobo and His Queen, Adaeze

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Married January 1, 2010

Cross-Cultural Romance Guide

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There has been a famous line which went around that says, "Love knows no boundaries". This tells all humankind that love is such a strong force that even having different cultures cannot shake it and put it down so easily. But I'm not saying that having a relationship with a partner who has a different culture with you is easy though. It requires respect, time and open-mindedness from both parties. Both the people who are involved in the relationship should exert effort in order for the connection to work out and prosper. Here are some tips to keep that cross-cultural romance going. It sure is hard, but it can work out.

1.  Find time to know each other's differences and similarities. This is the most important tip to remember in order to make a cross cultural romance going. Finding out both of your culture's similarities and differences will enable you both to work out the things that you are not comfortable in each other. This will enable you to synthesize your similarities and then use it to find some unity in your differences. Knowing it all is the key component to avoid complications.

2.  Respect each other's culture. No one will get hurt if both of you have respect for each other's beliefs and practices. Respect also plays a major role in a healthy relationship. Not only does it maintain a formidable relationship, but it also saves both of you from conflicts, fights and clashes. Having respect for each other will enable you to deeply understand each other's practices and beliefs. It will also help you gain a better understanding about why people, whom your partner share the same belief, do such things and practice such rituals.

3.  Do a "culture exchange". This is a fun way in order to try out the practices and customs of your partner. Experiencing their tradition first hand will enable you to see and understand for yourself, the customs, traditions and ways of your partner. This will also enable both of you to contribute to the enrichment of one's cultures and to the cultivation of one's self.

4.  Keep an open mind and an open heart.  Being in a cross cultural relationship is a hard thing to do, especially that there are possibilities of conflicts and misunderstandings, but keeping your mind open to possibilities and prospects can save you from all these problems. So, remember to keep that mind and heart wide open.

Cross-cultural romance is not easy, well any kind of relationship never is. But you can make it less difficult. Just try these few simple tips and for sure, you will survive this challenge of having different cultures.

Important Guidelines For a Every Woman

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Relationships are a two-way street that requires the utmost devotion between two people. While some relationships are specifically entered into for the purpose of having fun, others involve more serious emotions, the desire to settle down and make a lifetime commitment. For many women, commitment is something that is hard to get from men with whom they wish to share the rest of their life.

Although frustrating, it is also not without a solution. Listed below are a number of solid tips on how to get him to commit, without jeopardizing your present relationship.

Be Open about What You Want

A lot of women are looking to seal the deal with their men, yet they are unwilling to communicate exactly how they feel. In order to get your man to even consider the idea of settling down, it is imperative that you make your wishes clear when the time is right. There always comes a time in every relationship when each party need to tell each other what they want out of the partnership.

Regardless of what you think he might say or how he reacts, it is important to let it be known that you want and need commitment from him at some point. This way, he does not feel ambushed when you tell him that you feel it’s time to take it to the next step.

How To Get Him To Commit: Repetition is Never Effective

After you both have had "the talk", it is never wise to repeat yourself, at least not sooner than necessary. Reminding your man about your need of commitment repeatedly is never a wise move as it might put enormous pressure on him. Tackling the subject of settling down once every 6 months is enough, so try not to overdo it or he might just shut down on you completely.

Give Subtle Reminders of Your Best Qualities

Men are fickle by nature; hence, the natural aversion to the idea of settling down or getting married. However, it becomes easier to get a man to commit by reminding him of just how much better his life is with you in it.

Little things like cooking a nice meal or having his friends or family over for a special dinner would definitely get him thinking about the future and how great it would be if you are beside him through all the years ahead.

Allow Him Time to Process

While so many men are afraid of commitment and all the responsibilities/restrictions that come with it, others are more than willing to entertain the possibility. What most men really need is some time to process and think through everything so that they can come up with a sound decision of his own, actually this is the `Secret`, steer him in the right direction but let him think, he will come up with the answer by himself.

Giving ultimatum is never a good idea, especially if your man already seems on the fence. Letting him warm up to the idea of marriage and lifetime commitment make it easier for both of you in the long run.

Show Some Flexibility

In the same way that some men are adamant and have a non-committal attitude towards romantic relationships, women can also dig their heels about the matter. Showing some flexibility as to the time frame and other relevant factors involving marriage would make him see that you are not desperate.

Tell Him Your Plans

Some men severely lack imagination, which prevents them seeing the bright future they can have with the woman they love. Letting him in on your plans for the future is one of the best ways on how to get him to commit. It might very well be that what you have longed for is exactly what he wants as well.

How To Get Him to commit? Easy... Make Him Feel He Has a Choice

The feeling of being trapped is one of the scariest things for men, which prompts them to stay as far away from the subject of marriage as possible. Letting him know that he has a choice in the matter is something that you should do if you want him to commit on his own volition. After all, you want a man who genuinely wants you, right?

These are merely guidelines on how to get him to commit, since all relationships are different, it is always best to act based on what you know about your man and what you really want to do as far as your relationship.

STOP WASTING YOUR PRECIOUS TIME, WORK TO WIN YOUR MAN TOTAL DEVOTION AND ENTHUSIASTIC COMMITMENT TO YOU AND YOUR FUTURE TOGETHER

Unconditional Love

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Unconditional love is usually based on: I love you for who you are.

It is about each person enhancing the life of the other.

Unconditional love is about loving someone for who they are because that person enhances your life, when you are with them things are better than they were before. In unconditional love, though you have the ability to survive and thrive alone, but you choose to be together because you work well together, you have fun together, you advance more rapidly together.

If you have Unconditional love then Monogamy is a pleasure

Yes, I know we would all like to find that perfect relationship where we are fully able to rely upon another for life, where we have perfect communication, a satisfying and regular sex life, and we just 'know' that everything is great forever...

But the reality of life is not that way -

When life gets in the way, the communication sometimes breaks down, the sex life sometimes dwindles or dies, the financials sometimes create issues, the kids sometimes take up too much time, the small things sometimes over take the important things and we lose our way...

And this is where Unconditional love comes into play

Much of what I talk about might make sense on the surface but makes no headway in your mind because it goes against the grain of everything you have been taught.

Much of what I encourage could enlighten your life exponentially if you pay close attention.

Unconditional love - try it.

You Cannot Heal From a Failed Relationship Unless You Become Aware

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If you have a number of failed relationships behind you, it is very likely that you feel wounded, depressed, despaired and lonely. In order to become empowered to develop a healthy and satisfying relationship you first need to heal these wounds. This is possible when you become aware of what it is that makes you fail in the first place.

If you are single and on the dating scene for many years, gotten hurt time and again, you need to heal your wounds before finding and developing a satisfying new relationship. If, on the other hand, you have had a long-term relationship and decided to separate at this point in your life and you wish to begin a new relationship, you might not know how to heal the separation and feel truly "available" for a new intimacy.

The importance of Self-Awareness

Whichever your personal situation is, you might wonder what it will take for you to heal, become empowered and able to develop and maintain a successful intimacy.

This is where Self-Awareness becomes vital and can play a crucial role in your ability to heal and move forward: It is very likely that you - like many others - have failed in your relationships for a number of reasons. Yet, one reason which often plays an enormous part in failed relationships and nonetheless doesn't receive its due attention is the following:

You might not know yourself well enough: you might not be aware of a host of factors, such as needs, fears, unrealistic expectations, messages you internalized at young age from the home and the environment in which you grew up, your belief-system and perception of reality, which exert power over you and control your attitudes and behaviours. Any one of these factors - or a combination of some - might hinder you from developing and maintaining a successful intimacy.

What does becoming aware mean?

Becoming aware means:

* Getting to know and understand yourself better;

* Realizing traits, feelings, attitudes and behaviours you denied and rejected until now, refusing to acknowledge and accept them as part of you;

* It means becoming conscious of the factors which exert power over you and drive you to sabotage your relationship.

As long as you are not aware of the power and damage these factors bring upon you, you will continue walking around wounded, feeling incessantly frustrated, disappointed, disillusioned, angry, desperate and unhappy, without knowing what you should do in order to heal yourself and move forward towards developing a satisfying and healthy relationship.

Awareness and healing are two complementary processes

Awareness and healing are two complementary processes. Through them you get up the courage to be true to yourself; authentic and genuine; connected to your will; acknowledge and accept traits and behaviours you might have denied and rejected within you.

The more you become aware and the more you heal, the more you will strive to increase your awareness and to heal yourself even further. This complementary relationship between awareness and healing will enable you to move forward to developing a successful and healthy intimacy.

How to Make Your Love Bond Strong

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A good relationship makes life worth living. They are similar to investments where returns depend on how much effort you put in. If you are in a relationship and happy, you must make some effort to keep it the way it is.

People change and hence when the differences are not understood, the relationship can hit a few road blocks. It is not surprising to see a few stumbling blocks, but the actual challenge is to keep the relationship going steady in spite of the hurdles. How exactly should you maintain a love relationship and avoid frequent arguments and fights? Let us find out how to keep the love bond strong.

1) Be Open and Frank

Frank and open communication is the key to any healthy relationship. There can be occasions where you have to reveal some bitter truth to your partner and you might have inhibitions and doubts in doing so. Remember that hiding things might make your partner drift apart from you when they get to know about it later on from a different source. Though you might feel a little uncomfortable initially, things would fall in to place as days go by. Moreover, in most cases your relationship is susceptible to get better when you speak out the truth.

2) Forgive and Forget

When there is a little tiff between you and your partner due to any reason, try to ease your mind and think straight of why this problem might have occurred. When your partner comes forth and confesses their mistakes, be wise and forgive them instantly. Resolve matters with respect and love. Don't abuse or get violent; always be in control. After they calm down, you can explain them the actual impact of their mistake and tell them to be careful the next time. This will give a sense of security to your partner and they will know from then that you are there to support irrespective of the situation. Never bring out old matters, forgiving and forgetting is the best policy. This will lead you to the path of a strong relationship.

3) Little Things Make a Huge Difference

There must be a spark in your relationship that would help to keep it strong. It is normal to have occasional hiccups in the relationship, but to overcome them prudently is very important. Always do those little things to keep the spark in your relationship alive. Occasionally, surprise your partner with small gifts to express your love. Give them a hug and a peck on the cheek once they are back from work. Hugs and kisses are very important to strengthen bonding and attachment. Go for romantic dinners and long drives whenever you get a chance. Do fun things together like swimming, running, watching movies, etc. When your partner is tensed about work or anything else, don't get irritated rather be patient and hear them out.

Relationship is the most important aspect of one's life. Keep in mind these 3 golden rules and there won't be any sad moment in your relationship.