To be absolutely honest we all have some fear or apprehension about committing to somebody else. Just think about all the horror stories you hear, all the things that could go wrong and the future begins to look like a frightening, unexplored place where monsters can jump you. So what are the top reasons why men are afraid of commitment?
1. His current knowledge about commitment. Having lived this long your man will have encountered commitment situations that are unhappy, demeaning or hellish. He may have come out of a committed relationship that was unhappy and demeaning and this will color his perspective and make him wary of commitment. A man who has been bitten in the past will be afraid of commitment. What he has been exposed to in his family and through the lives of his friends and in the media in their committed relationships will obscure his view point on commitment! If the committed relationships around him have been characterized by pain and misery then he may be afraid of that happening to him. If he seems unwilling to commit to you find out how his past has been and that of those who are significant in his life. If most of it is miserable then your pushing will just drive him away. Be understanding of his experiences and finds ways to encourage him beyond this commitment road block.
2. He will be trapped. Nothing frightens a man more than being trapped in a situation that is not working but which he cannot get out of. Being in a casual relationship is so much easier since he can do pretty much what he likes and when things don't work out he can always leave. Men like to have the option to leave and so they are afraid of commitment as it makes leaving that much harder. To overcome this fear a man needs to love you so much that he is willing to give up that freedom. If he will not commit to you it may because he does not love you enough to give up his freedom or his fear is so big that it overpowers his love for you and he may need your encouragement and help in order to overcome it.
3. Things may not work out. The future is uncertain and a man knows that a committed relationship has a 50% chance of failing and he really would prefer to avoid something that he will fail at and which will consume his time and energy. Again his fear of failure may paralyze him and render him petrified of commitment. You need wisdom to show him that commitment to you has a very good chance of succeeding because you don't have traits or behavior that will make him miserable. A man who likes you as you are and he will often believe that you will stay just the way you are and you need to be real in your relationship with him so that he can get to know the real you. And have some assurance that you will not change on him overnight. Resist the temptation to pretend to like or dislike things and behaviors but be who you really are.
Men are afraid of commitment due to these 3 factors and you need to understand your man's particular fear so that you can help him manage or reduce it.
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