We've always known that men are wired differently.
Women love the pep talk; men don't, so don't expect the guy you are currently
seeing to tell you what went down with him and his ex-girlfriend. It’s right to
ask questions on what you don’t understand to make someone open up. See, it
doesn't work like that in a man's world. There are certain things you have to
follow on how to get a man to open up.
1.) Know what questions to ask and what
buttons to press. It sounds simple but for some reason, women tend to
mess this up all the time. They get too excited in getting to know the person
that they ask "10th date" questions on the first date. Why can you
not be content in asking him about his job or how many siblings he has. Don't
be such in a rush to gather tons of personal information about him. When it
comes to past relationships, plans for the future, etc unless a man goes into
that direction, do not go there. In other words, wait for the man to start
asking those questions. Be patient, he will open up once he lets you in
completely.
2.) Believe it or not, men are also afraid of
rejection and the last thing they want is for women to be judgmental and
critical of them. They have that fear that if they open up; they are going to
get laughed at or won’t be found as sexy or masculine anymore. It's very
critical for a woman to know that a man's ego is more fragile than hers and
this is especially true when a man is in a relationship.
When a guy is in an intimate relationship, he tends
to be more vulnerable because he is letting his guards down. Make your
partner feel that you are not going to judge him or look at him any differently
once he opens up to you. If you make him feel otherwise, don't expect
him to talk. Allow your man to say what's on his mind freely. Learn how to
listen and make sure he knows that you are there for him no matter what.
One very important thing on how to get a man to
open up is to realize that men need to establish an emotional connection before
they open up. Just be patient and stop bombarding him with crazy
questions! Also, once he finally opens up, try your very best not to
blurt out your point of view with something like "OH you did that?"
or "That is so wrong". If you are going to be all judgmental, don't
expect your man to ever talk about his past or fears.
3.) Take the initiative and open up first. A
relationship is a two-way street which means that you can't really expect your
partner to open up if you haven't done it yourself. Show your man that you have
as much trust in him as he has in you. Every person has a "can of
worms". We all have our own share of fears, problems and a not-so-good
past. A lot of men fear that if they share too much of the past they are not so
proud of, women would walk away. Make your man feel that this is not the case
and that you care about him enough for you to understand and accept him with
whatever indiscretions he did a long time ago. Once he starts talking, listen
and say something encouraging like "that's all in the past now" or
"that's not as bad as it sounds".
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