If you are preparing to marry someone who is not
of the same culture with you; some of the minor cultural differences will not
be a problem if you can be a little bit patient. If you will pay close
attention, your relationship will even be stronger in the long run.
The following clues might help you in preparing
for a cross cultural marriage.
Learn about your partner’s culture and
encourage them to know about yours too.
In this computer era, there isn’t much stress
on getting information. Internet is a veritable tool for research. You have a
lot to learn and it would be fun to find out that there is not much difference
in many cultures. All you need do is just be open to understand this new
culture.
You and your partner should communicate to
each other clearly.
Since you are of different cultures,
inevitably there would be a few misunderstandings. Don’t expect all your expectations
to be met because if you do, you will be disappointed. Understanding each other
fully well will happen with time.
Carry your families along.
Some families do have problems about cross
cultural relationship though some others do not. You don’t expect your family
will just fit in. You never can tell, they might surprise you. Even if they
react just like you expect, it’s a good idea to involve them in your marriage
preparations. That way, they won’t have any other option than feel much more
like the celebrants.
Be willing to comprise.
It is expected that your cultures may clash
at some point in time. There should not be a clear winner. Don’t insist on
every issue. Decide on the ones that are truly important to you and overlook
the ones you don’t really mind.
Be aware that you are going to adapt.
You are surely going to get more comfortable
with each other’s culture over the years. With this, things that were problems
at the beginning will be much easier to deal with or no longer matter. At a
stage it will be our culture because you have fully merged into one.
Do away with your assumptions.
During your dating period or courtship,
chances were that you have got some uncomfortable assumptions. These might have
been summed up from what you have been hearing or told. Don’t dwell on those
assumptions; leave them behind; you will have a much more successful marriage.
Assumptions have denied a lot what would have turned out to be happiness. If
you had gone to your intended culture and found out yourself from the
beginning? You would come to understand that such assumptions were baseless and
deceitful.
Remember that while gender roles, social
roles and religion are usually the big points of conflict, they are definitely
not the only ones. It shouldn’t surprise you that many couples fight over
things like what’s polite and how they make their bed. In all, openness and
communication will help a great deal.
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