By Esther Obazu-Ojeagbase
 |
| Pastor Mrs Esther Obazu-Ojeagbase |
One’s desire to have
financial freedom, live an honourable, glorious and peaceful life could be
marred with trouble and distress if one fails to be on one’s guard all the
time. We have the duty to control our feelings, actions and what we say. The
home is very important. A well known American author, Taylor Caldwel, once
said, “I would rather cook a meal for a man, bring his slippers and feel myself
in the protection of his arm than have all citations and honours I have
received worldwide.” This is applicable to men too. Without a home there is no
true freedom, hope, joy, no expectations for tomorrow, and there is no
contentment.
Being in this
enviable position in the society, you have the promise of God upon your home
which says “My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes,
in undisturbed places of rest.”-Isaiah 32:18
For every promise
there is a condition that must be fulfilled, and for our desire to come through
there are certain ways of life we must adapt to, because in times of crises the
source of vale attached to him/her stands to rekindle your love.
How high is the value
you place on your spouse? If there is none, I want you to create and think up
one that will keep the light of your love shining. Nothing works until you work
it out and for every success there is always a price to pay, so also in
marriage, without exception, there is always a price to pay.
Compatibility brings
about lasting relationships, so it is important for couples to evaluate each
other at all times, because until you value what you have no other person will;
and as a man it is very important to know that the level of importance you
accord your family is the same that every other person will accord them. Show
that you appreciate your spouse by telling him/her how important he/she is to
you. Let your actions show love and affection. It shall then be difficult for an
outsider to come and tread on your gold. Do not give dogs what is sacred; do
not throw your valuable pearls/diamonds to pigs because, if you do, they will
trample them under their feet and then turn back to tear you to pieces-Mathew
7:6. This is one of the sayings of our Lord Jesus Christ. Do you have anything
you can hold your spouse for? If there is none, create one. Like shall surely
attract like, hold your spouse dearly to your heart, for your compatibility is
not of the outside but of the inner forces.
SELF
CONTROL
A sound mind is very
crucial for our existence as anything in excess is too bad. Control your tongue
because the way you talk to your spouse matters: wives, your husband is the
small god you can see; if you do not accord him the respect he deserves, how
then can you honour God, whom you do not see?
Remember your grace covers him and the honour you give to your husband
adds to his confidence and makes him to believe in himself as a man.
Likewise the man: the
moment you tongue-lash your wife or your children, you belittle them yourself.
Treating your wife as a nobody shows you are the same, for birds of the same
feather flock together. Say good things about your wife or your husband;
remember his/her good points more often. Apart from the peace of mind you shall
enjoy, good things shall surely come your way, prosperity and blessing
inclusive.
APPETITE
Control what goes
into your mouth, for your mouth is the road to your stomach. Once anything gets
into, it becomes difficult to bring it out. Be mindful of what you eat and
where you eat. The world is waiting for you to bring solutions to issues with
your knowledge and experience. Your community is waiting; it shall be
disastrous to eat life out of yourself through careless attitudes.
Drinking and smoking
away your life would do us no good, so please control your appetite, because
you are so important, not only to your family but also to your generation.
SEXUAL
URGE
The sex drive of
geniuses is sometimes very high. It is natural because of the activities that
go on their minds and their creative abilities. Men in this category should let
their wives know about it; it is not to be shied away from or it could lead to
misunderstandings in the future. Likewise wives whose sex drive is high; it is
better you carry your man along and discuss it maturely, so that the man will
not turn back to call you names.
Your sexual urge
should not drive you to sleep with many or different men or women; people who
go around do not get satisfaction. Although water is a gift of nature, if you
do not control its consumption it becomes a problem. You have to control your
sexual urge, not because you do not have the money to fund it or the
personality or courage, but for what you are building to last, so that you can
have a conducive environment around you to create more wealth. Sexual urge if
not kept under check is a destroyer of destiny and goals.
NETWORKING
Attending too many
social functions could make you drift away from your family which does not
promote affection. No matter your schedule, find time to stay with your family
because they need you so dearly. Do not be selfish, and remember that your
family is one of the factors that would give you complete success. All these
are applicable to women too as it is very important for the mother to spend
valuable time with her family, especially her children. Ask them questions
about their dreams, goals, fears and challenges. It is also very important to
the father and mother to pray with and for their children as this will help to
strengthen the bonds of love within the family.
TRANSFERING
AFFECTION
Transfer of affection
is also an enemy that brings stress into marriage. Putting all your concern on
your job, business, career and so on and neglecting your immediate family could
bring about discord and hatred within the family, and this may make them go
against you in all you do, not because they do not know you are working to make
them comfortable, but because you are neglecting them.
It is very important
that you carry your family along in whatever you are doing because your spouse
will want to contribute his/her quota joyfully to your growth. Show all the
affection you can.
APPRECIATE
YOUR SPOUSE
It is unfair to
misinterpret the kindness, generosity and love shown to us by our spouses. We
should at all times appreciate people’s kind gestures to us, no matter how
small. Some husbands/wives find it so difficult to say sorry when they do
something wrong; remember the Lord’s commandment to you is to love your
husband/wife as yourself, and your refusal to say sorry belittles you. Saying
sorry will melt away anger and annoyance and will give room for reconciliation.
FEAR
The emotion of fear
paralyses the mind and intellect. Fear makes you look stupid sometimes, and the
worst thing is that, what you fear most often happens to you. Fear is our
greatest enemy and it stirs up many negative feelings that colour our actions.
These include fear of
disappointment, fear of rejection, fear of ill-health, fear of our children
going wayward, etc.; to combat these fears; I suggest we try open communication
with our spouses. Remember a problem shared is a problem solved.
Emotions of fear make
you angry about what has happened and sad about what did not happen, but as you
discuss these fears they shall disappear and in the course of discussion you
will renew your faith and vow to each other, and by so doing both of you will
both be happy. Those fears maybe are not founded, but keeping them and
entertaining them in your mind brings them to reality, so kill the thought
immediately it occurs to you and continue to enjoy your peace forever.
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