Ways of Maintaining A Great Relationship!

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1. RESPECT - You must have respect for the person you are with and vice versa. A relationship without respect is nothing at all.

2. DATE NIGHT - Most people are busy with their everyday lives. So in order to keep your relationship alive and fresh you should always schedule a night or two each week of fun together. Each person should come up with some type activity to do so it won't feel like it is the sole responsibility of one person. Treat your relationship like how you treat your home; you must maintain it in order for it to last.

3. RENEW YOUR VOWS - If you are married. On your next anniversary renew your vows. Remember why you got married in the first place. Most people don't get married to get a divorce. Fall in love with each other over and over again.

4. SEND LOVE - Send love to your significant other throughout the day. Send your lover a sexy text or email them letting them know that you've been thinking about them. Leave sexy notes in places where they will find them. For example, in the car, in pants pocket, wallet, purse, bathroom mirror etc. This will set the tone for the entire day. Everyone wants to know that they are loved and appreciated.

5. RECIPROCATE - Show your appreciation for each other. A simple thank you every now and then can go a long way.

6. COMMUNICATION - A relationship is nothing without respect and good communication. Most people aren't mind readers. So, say what's on your mind. Preferably in a respectful calm manner. Most people cannot hear a person when they are screaming at them. Wait until you are in a relaxed environment to express your concerns. Getting things out in the open is a great way to come to an agreement about a problem or concern before it gets out of control. Hear a person out before you judge.

Know that you are on the same team. I like to say that "You should be two people against the world.” Don't let outside people or negative things influence your relationship. 

Prioritize Your Partner Over Everything

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ommandment I is an important one. Not because it's first on the list but because it addresses something that couples frequently over looked. Life is a busy place and no one would argue that. Letting the fast pace of life consume you and your relationship can have devastating consequences.

In my practice, I often hear couples tell the story of how busy they are. They say I have to work all these hours to support the family, I have to shuttle the children here and there, or I'm just too tired after a busy day of working and shuttling. These and/or other responsibilities may be part of your life. The unfortunate part is that they can lead you to justify your lack of attention on the relationship with "I'm just too busy."

What happens to the relationship though when you get blindly caught up in everyday life? What happens when you stop maintaining your relationship and stop giving it the attention it needs?

I use the description blindly getting caught up in life to describe the phenomena of going through life, not living it. Never stopping to smell the roses or look back to see how many of them you've stepped on. Without taking some time to pause and see how what I am doing is affecting me and others can result in waking up one morning saying "Wait this isn't the life and relationship I want or bargained for!" If that day comes, and you find yourself questioning what happened to the life and relationship I was working for, you can be certain the cause was the lack of attention and maintenance of your relationship.

Taking time to pause and evaluate where you are in respect to where you want to be, gives you an opportunity to see if your efforts are having the desired results. If you’re working all the time because you want your family to have all the things, so they can be happy, results in an unhappy family because you’re never around, you may want to revaluate the importance of working so much. People will rarely exchange attention and connection for things. If running here and there leaves no room for quality time, maybe it's time to do a little less running. It is the quality of time we spend together not the quantity so hours spent in the time does not translate into togetherness. One of the best ways to know if you're getting the desired results is to ask. Ask your partner where he or she is at. Is what I'm doing, good for you too?

Attention is the maintenance man of a relationship. It keeps us connected and a secure connection is what relationship is all about. When we take the time to give attention it lets the other know that their importance. It lets them know they're needed and valued.

Being safely connected to an important someone helps us deal with the hardships of life. The best thing you can do for you, your partner and your family is have a strong, happy, loving relationship.

What Scares Men Away

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ave you often found yourself wondering what exactly it is that scares men away? What causes the Fear Factor to raise its ugly head in this supposedly gallant species? Have you scared a few men away when everything seemed to be going well? Would you like to know what you can do differently the next time? You will be surprised to find out that it is three little P's that push men away in fear.

1. Prejudice. If you are too prejudiced or opinionated, you can sometimes remind him of his Dad or his least favourite lecturer in school! It is nice to have strong beliefs, but it is best to keep them to oneself, especially in romantic settings. If he finds you continuously looking down on others, making sarcastic comments, not treating workers well or back-biting about other women, your value in his eyes will plummet. He will take this as a measure of who you are and what you might do to him, should the tide turn. He will run now before that tide turns.

2. Pressure. This is a huge don't. Do you like pressure applied to you when you go shopping? No? Then don't apply pressure to a man (except if you are in bed and he asks you to!) in this delicate situation of your relationship. Let things go. Plant some seeds of love instead of demanding that everything go your way.

3. Pampering. If the first P made you seem like Dad, this one will make you seem like Mum! We get you, you have so much love to share and you just wish to shower it over this wonderful human being. Go easy. Keep the blueberries out of your prize-winning pancake recipe for now. Give him something to look forward to. Give him the chance to breathe and appreciate the pampering. It is during the spaces between bouts of spoiling that he gets to do that.

Yes, we know these things are easier said than done, but with practice, everything can become a way of life. Just as you train a dog to shake a paw, you can train yourself and your man as well. Don't forget the treats at regular intervals!

Is It Really Possible? True Love at First Sight!

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o you believe in love at first sight? Are you searching for some substantiation that it is possible? Would you like to fall in love at first sight? Or are you wondering whether you should tone down your emotions? Read on to find out what we think.

Yes, true love at first sight is possible. There are so many beautiful stories out there that depict just this fascinating phenomenon, of how their eyes met and they fell madly in love and got married and had kids. You have certainly read this story in steamy romance novels and seen it in movies. It has happened to real people as well.

You see someone and you just know they are "The One" and you are going to marry them. I have heard many men tell this story.

One has to know the difference between love and infatuation, though. Infatuation does not feel real, it is what you feel sitting in the audience of a rock show, imagining you are going to marry James Bond. Not happening anytime soon.

One has also to know the difference between physical attraction and true love. Yes, true love comes with beautiful chemistry. But if the man in question merely resembles your favourite star or he has some features you think are great like super flat abs, and this is causing a flutter, it is most likely not love that is creating that increased pulse.

You have to be really careful with all of this. Say you see someone and think you have fallen in love with him at first sight. You really need to stop at that very moment before launching off into wild fantasies later that night, and find out whether he is available. If he isn't, stop dead in your tracks and find a hobby. Really, just distract yourself. If this is, indeed, true love, it will happen when everyone is truly free. Otherwise, all you get is a big huge mess. And many hurt people.

Knowing the difference between these emotions and situations can be the hedge of protection you need around you. A good test to apply is, when it is true love and meant to be, there is serendipity, an aligning of all elements. A few glitches here and there, but love wins out!

If true love at first sight is what you desire, then imagine and wish with all your heart: if you can imagine it, you can have it. 

Chinedu and Wife

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hinedu “Aki” Ikedieze and his beautiful wife, Nneoma Ikedieze

Who says it’s not real! They made it.

            Married 9^th of December 2010

Is He Loosing Interest? Watch Out For These Signs

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ndifference is the most obvious sign that the man who was once your knight and shining armour is losing interest in you but doesn't have the spine to call it quits. Instead of sitting you down and talking to you like an adult, he makes up a series of ridiculous 'exit strategies' in the hope that you'll be the one to break up with him.

If you feel he's losing interest, then he may probably, and your relationship may quickly head to a break-up. How do you know for sure? Here are some clues:

He snaps when you ask him about his day. If he gets irritated whenever you check up on him, take a hint. He has lost interest in your relationship and is looking for greener pastures, girl.

He keeps questioning the 'state' of your relationship. Men often hate to talk about relationships, let alone where it is headed. When he constantly asks if you're okay, perhaps he's the one who's not okay. This is his way of hinting that things are not going well between the two of you.

He'd rather hang out with his buddies. Your usual Friday date night has suddenly become his night out with his friends. If your routine dates have suddenly become group dates with his buddies, something's not right.

He has become inconsiderate. Commenting about how you gained weight (especially if he has never done that in the past) is a sign that he now finds other girls more attractive. Gone are the days when you were his only eye candy and no one was prettier than you in his world.

If he does not have the spine to admit that he is losing interest in you, then be the one to initiate 'the talk.' If the end result is a breakup, then so be it. It's better to end things early than prolong the agony. Use your efforts and give your love to a man who truly deserves it.