Things Men Do To Ruin Their Chances With a Woman Before The First Date

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A man sees a woman he likes so he goes in for the kill - only to be rejected by the woman before he really gets to show her why he's worth her time. Unfortunately what he doesn't know is that he made some really big mistakes with this woman that ruined his chances for good.

Here are 5 of the most common  things men do that ruin their chances with women.

1. Look Too Scared

If you are not a master of your own body language then you need to become one! If you send off a vibe of looking scared or unsure then you are sending off a vibe that says she is going to have to make you feel good about yourself, and that's not what she wants to have to do with a new love interest. So check your confidence level and your body language while approaching her. Stand tall, walk with intention, and look confident.

2. Look Too Cocky

Again with the body language! You have to know if you are coming across as an arrogant jerk who is sending the message that you are better than her and she is lucky that you are approaching her at all. This is a huge turn-off and most women will reject you so that they don't have to listen to your cockiness -and to put you in your place. So approach her with confidence but don't act like you are gods gift to her.

3. Check Out Another Woman Before, During, or After You Approach Her.

Chances are she has already noticed you at some point in time and if you have been checking out every woman that passes by then you have blown your chance with her completely.

Or maybe you are approaching her but checking out her friend while you do so. That is a huge mistake that many men make! As soon as you look at her friend you have lost her interest. She wants to know that you are interested in her and not that you have her friend on the back-burner.

If you happen to impress her then she probably will watch you walk away, so don't check out any women as you leave either.

Bottom line: You only have eyes for her when she is around.

4. You Talk About Yourself

If you spend your whole conversation talking about yourself then you will probably ruin your chances with her. She wants to know that you are interested in her, and you can only do that by showing interest in her and her likes or thoughts. So ask her questions about herself and allow her to answer them fully without interrupting her and talking about yourself.

5. Put Yourself Down While You Talk To Her

Just as body language can show your insecurity without you knowing it, your words can do the same. You may not realize that you are making yourself look bad or negative in her eyes but it's a mistake that many men make.

You want to paint yourself in a positive light that she will be attracted to. A woman wants a man who is going to add value to her life. So avoid negative words like can't, shouldn't, or haven't, and focus on positive words that make you look like something she would want to get to know better.

Tips To Overcome Your Fear Of Commitment

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Water for Elephants

While many may like the idea of a relationship, many have a fear of commitment. One of the main reason people fear commitments is their fear of losing their freedom or controls especially those that have been single for a long time.

Perhaps, some may fear that the pressures in making the relationship work may experience being suffocating at some point.

However, this may not be true if you have the correct mindset to handle relationship. You also need to have clarity of your preference. Do you want a good relationship with another or do you prefer to be alone?

If you want a beautiful relationship, don't let that fear interfere instead learn to have the right mindset to handle it.

1. Identify Your Fear

Understand what you are fearful about commitment. What is the cause of the fear of commitment? Only when you can identify them, then you can overcome the issue.

2. Are the reasons for the fear valid?

You may have experienced bad relationships or you have seen others been hurt in relationships?

However, you can learn from these failures, you can learn from them and work out the strategies for a good relationship.

Ask yourself, "What does it takes to make a relationship work?

3. Stay enthusiastic

Use a positive and enthusiastic approach towards your relationship.

Be realistic that there will be differences, do not detest them. Appreciate the differences and focus on the positive and the strength of your partner.

Accept your partner as their entire package, there are strengths and weakness in everyone. If you have not experienced bitterness, you do not know sweetness.

4. Hang out with your partner

Treat your partner as your best friend or a buddy. Include your partner in your social circle. You will not be in a dilemma as to whether you can have your night out. Sharing every aspects of your life with your partner is important.

5. Be honest with each other

Let each other know what you can buy in and what you can't from the start of the relationship. In this way, you will not have to feel suppress or suffocated.

6. Talk about how you spend your money

This may be rather sensitive but it is necessary to let your partner know so as to manage their expectation. This will also allow you to know the type of person he or she is.

7. Establish your objectives

Once beaten twice shy. Some people develop that fear of commitment after a failed relationship. You have invested time, effort and money and you may find that it is hard to trust again.

Do give yourself time to heal and perhaps seek professional help. You can correct the wrong and avoid making the same mistakes.

8. Take your time but give your all

If you want a strong and healthy relationship, you have to be willing to commit 100% of your effort. However, you do not have to rush into it.

Take your time to communicate and know your partner but be willing to give your all. 

It is a big step in dealing with the fear of commitment, it is important that you are willing to take this big step. You allow yourself for your relationship to progress.

The Meaning Of Open Relationship

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So exactly what is an open relationship; and is it productive? An open relationship is when two people have determined to let other people into their relationship in a sexual or emotional capacity. Now some people claim that this tactic is used to spice up a boring marriage, but how can this activity bring two people together who have chosen to have sex and give themselves emotionally to someone else? Isn't the goal to become closer with the person that you are in a relationship with?
What is an open relationship from the view point of love? Can you really truly love someone and still sleep with other people? Can you really say that you are committed? Where is the intimacy? How do you trust that person, etc., etc.? I know, some  may think I am judgmental, but when you love someone, that should mean something! In a relationship, there should be  a part of you that is only reserved for your partner; and to allow someone else to come into that place where only he/she should dwell makes that place common. And a common place is an unregarded (disrespected) place.

Let's look at this a little bit closer, what is an open relationship to a person who doesn't value themselves or anyone else? A person with this type of perspective may not find anything wrong with this behavior. If this type of person does not value themselves, then how can they value the person that they are with, or what they have?

A lot of people take sex for granted. Sex is more than a role in the sack, but when two people come together, they are coming together as one entity for that moment in time. Believe it or not, they are connecting body, soul and spirit. In other words when you have sex with someone, you are giving a part of you to that other person, because for that moment you become one.

Soul ties are not easily broken. When you continuously connect with a person sexually, your soul tie becomes stronger and stronger. This is why it is difficult for people to break away from bad relationships, marriages, and even open relationships; because a soul tie has developed.
My advice to you today, is that you would ask yourself, "What is an open relationship, and is it worth being in one?

Are You Still Looking for Your Type?

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You think you know your type. In fact, you are sure of it. You have actually dated them, perhaps even married them - more than once on both counts. So, let me ask you, if you know your type so well, why are you still looking for Mr. Right?

Get over your type and open your mind, your feelings, and your experiences to seeing who may be right for you. If knowing your type were working so well, you would not be looking. With that harsh realty acknowledged and accepted, are you ready to move on?

Of course, there is the other side of the coin. He's NOT my type. As well as you think you know your type, you also think you know who is not your type. This is as a big a problem in my opinion as knowing who your type is.'

Chemistry grows over time and is based on many factors. Yet, so many women dismiss potential men because they don't "feel" it right away. If you are basing a lifetime of happiness on whether or not your heart jolts at first sight, you are selling yourself short and missing out on many opportunities.

Give a man and yourself a chance to interact, talk, and know him before you decide there is no chemistry. The other thing to keep in mind is that we often gravitate to what we know and feels comfortable to us on a subconscious level. Yet, if that were working so well, you would not be single and looking.

It takes courage to try something new and break out of your comfort zone. People, who do, often talk how happy they are. There is a whole world waiting for you that you don't even know exists and that includes amazing relationships with men. How will you know unless you give it a try?

Sounds easy. Yet if it were, we'd all be with our perfect partners. Divorce would be non-existent. Online dating sites and agencies would not exist and there would be far less singles. As Lord Chesterfield eloquently has said, "You must look into other people as well as at them." Look into their good, their gifts, and see them. Give yourself and the people you meet this gift and watch the quality of your relationships improve.

Then watch the quality of the men you meet improve. Love is not easy, yet it is glorious when you find it. Open yourself to the possibility of love in people and places you might not expect. Mr. Right is waiting for you.

By the way, for you men this applies equally to you! Your perfect lady is waiting for you to recognize her.

Advice For a Broken Heart

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When relationships break down, any couple will feel angry, depressed and heart broken. Though it is never easy to accept, it can be overcome using the right approach and advice.

1. Carrying On With Life

Life still goes on whether or not you are willing to accept the fact. Instead of focusing on your relationship that is not going to work, you may resume your hobbies you have been involved in passionately prior to starting your relationship. It is absolutely vital to put the past behind you and carry on with your life.

2. Getting Over Depression

Like it or not, depression is what we all have to go through in life especially losing our loved ones. Still what matters most is how we recover and go on from there.

3. What Do You Hope To Get From Relationship?

This is the most important question you need to ask yourself. Because your answer will not only determine the future of you and your partner but your children as well. Most couples say that they love each other but the truth is that they don't. This is especially the case with teenagers.

4. Be Honest With Yourself And Your Ex

If you still love your ex and really want to get him or her back, you need to be honest with yourself and your ex in regards to your intentions and more importantly, whether you can keep word or not. And that is if your ex is willing to accept you back otherwise you move on.

Will I Get Married?

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Who else is wondering whether they'll ever get married? Do the years seem to be passing and you're NOT making progress with picking a partner? Does your life feel complete in just about every way outside of your romantic relationships? The simple truth is, as our lives get more complicated than ever before.... more and more people are pushing back, and postponing marriage until later and later in life.

But the fact remains, most people DO still get married... and if you never have, or have put it off PAST a certain point in your life, the undeniable truth is you are probably growing increasingly self conscious that you're still single! 

Here is a striking fact that you must NOT ignore if you're hopeful... but nowhere close to meeting your soulmate.

According to recent studies, almost 9 out of EVERY 10 women is married by the age of 40. (86%) And 8 out of every 10 men is also likely to find himself married by the time he hits the big FOUR-oh.

The scary thing? If you're one of those who is still hopeful and optimistic BUT has hit that magic number without being tied... your chances of making it happen are going DOWN in a big way, with each passing year..:-) Which means if you want to make it happen, you BETTER get your behind in gear!

Ready for this "crazy" fact

SMART people "say I DO!"-Is it because smarter people are more practical, or more passionate? Who KNOWS...

Finding Real Love! The Secret

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Have you been working hard to finding your soul mate but come up empty time and again? Have you attracted the wrong people in your life? You may wonder does real people ever find a soul mate, or is that something of a fairy tale?

People everywhere want to know the secret in finding a soul mate. The secret to finding real love begins with our state of mind.

To achieve this state of mind, you must cultivate two important qualities.

The first one is to learn to love your self and the other is to trust the Universe or the higher power. Many people find these to be very challenging although it sounds so simple. In fact, learning to love oneself and trusting the Universe or higher power is a life long process.

The challenge with learning to love oneself stems from your negative beliefs from your past conditioning about yourselves. These are some of the messages that you receive like "you are not good enough"

You may receive these messages subtlety or directly, these can affect how you feel about yourselves and how you feel about the people around you.

If you are struggling with self-love, you can reprogram your mind with affirmations.

An affirmation is a statement expressing a desired outcome that you say to yourself. It puts you in a frame of mind and keeps your mind focused on your outcome.

When used repetitiously, it is firmly embedded in your subconscious mind. Hence, eventually it becomes a reality.

These are important pointers when giving yourself affirmations.

1) Use the affirmations in the "Now" or "Present" tense. Phrase them as if they are occurring in the now. 
Example; 

• I was born to learn to love myself more, and to share that love with people around me.

2) Focus your affirmations in positive terms of what you want. Your brain picks up the words literally. For instance, when someone tells you 'Do not think of a blue chicken' what are you thinking of next?

Example:

I love myself and I naturally attract loving relationships into my life.

3) Select affirmations that resonate with you most, as it will etch deep into your subconscious mind.

4) Energy follows thought. Your intention is foremost important and hence when you say the affirmations, maintain your energy on the intentions.

5) Say the affirmations in the alpha brain wave, which is the optimal brain wave. Before you begin the affirmation, relax your mind and body with deep breathing.

6) Affirmations are most powerful when combined with visualizations. While you say the affirmations, visualized by playing a mental movie, this gives you the energy.

Trust that the Universe or higher power delivers is the other important quality to cultivate.

Working with the Universe can be a personal experience and a personal process. Through prayer and meditation are the two effective methods for building a relationship with a higher power or Higher Consciousness.

As you develop a deeper connection to the universe, you allow the law of attraction to take place.

You must develop a positive mindset to achieve a desired result!

Don't Fall in Love Too Fast-For Men

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If you were to believe all that you see in the movies and the television shows that Hollywood puts out, you would think that every woman secretly wants to find a guy who falls in love with them really fast and gives them that whirlwind romance that takes off from the first moment that they meet. And if you have ever tried that approach, you have probably found out that it just does not work quite as smoothly as all of those movies and shows seem to portray. While it may sound like a good idea, falling for a woman too fast is not always a good idea.

Dating and relationships makes both men and women a little insecure. Hinging all of your hopes and your dreams on another person can be a scary thing to do. So, when you meet a woman and give her the impression that you are in love right from the get go, more often than not, you are going to trigger that fear reaction in her. Or, you are going to make her a little suspicious of what your REAL intentions are.

Take Your Time... She Will Be Yours...

A really common theme that seems to show up time and time again with guys that come on too strong in the beginning with a woman is that they are really insecure. They are afraid that if they do not speed things up, they will lose the woman that they really want to be with. Well, sometimes insecurities can be irrational and this is one of those situations where that is definitely TRUE. As long as you are doing all of the right things to make a woman feel and stay attracted to you, you don't have to worry about losing her just because you are not speeding things up.

One of the most common complaints that women have when it comes to relationships is that their guy won't commit to them. Yet, those same women stay with that same guy and keep on wondering when he's going to commit to them. Doesn't make sense if women want you to speed things up, right?

Keep Her Wanting You and She WILL Want You...

If you don't commit to a woman too soon and you don't try to show her that you are already won over by her, you keep things exciting. The more she wants you, and the more than she feels like she has NOT won you over yet... the more she is going to chase after YOU. That's the scenario that you really want to have play out if you are going to make her fall in love with you.