By Dr. Uma Ukpai
“She knows I’m the husband. She respects me, and
reverences me and loves me and helps me fulfil my calling. I celebrate her
because the most expensive thing in life is to marry a pretty girl that wants
to be celebrated; they don’t take nonsense. If you don’t want trouble, please
celebrate her. When I came back from schooling in America, my wife said to me,
hide those certificates, nobody wants to know how educated you are. They want
to know how many people have been healed and delivered and set free from bondage
by the anointing of God deposited in you.
Secondly, you lose to win in marriage. Even when your wife has
wounded or hurt you please don’t emphasise it, de-emphasise it. Make sure you
put money into her hand even though she has money and do it weekly. Thirdly,
when she asks you for money give her more than she asked for and fourthly, when
she dresses up for service, turn, ponder and celebrate her; don’t just look at
her as though you are a muumuu. Say to her you are gorgeously dressed; you are
mesmerising me greatly.
Fifth, accept her relations and her parents particularly; take
care of them as you take care of your own parents. If she has a brother invest
in that brother, if she has a sister invest in her sister; they will always
speak for you because they have eaten your food. No man eats your food without
giving you praise. So make sure you invest in those areas. Sixth, love her
children. It’s very confusing that men love women but women celebrate children,
they adore children. To a woman it’s a beginning of her unending laughter, so
if you want your wife to love you love her children, and take care of them.
Send them to good schools and celebrate them.
My wife says to me, ‘on the crusade platform you are a big man
of God but in this house you are not a big man of God you are just a husband
and a father. So don’t walk in here as though you are under anointing. The
demons stop in the crusade ground, here we are for celebration. So anytime you
walk through the door forget whatever exploits you did at the crusade ground;
here you are just an ordinary husband; don’t act as a super preacher because
the crowd has gone, only we are left.
Romance is simply giving a woman quality time. It could be five minutes but
quality time. Make sure you have what she needs before you meet her. Inject the
element of surprise for her, make sure you celebrate her, keep her informed
about where you are, that is what every woman needs. In this area I’m an
expert. I call her several times in one day and we still exchange love letters.
I make sure I have an element of surprise for her, it could be
groundnut wrapped in tissue paper. Something that will surprise her. Women
don’t really want money, they want appreciation, they want recognition, they
want to be protected. If a man does not have money he must have a bag of
humour. A good man must be able to make his wife laugh five times a day. If a
woman laughs five times a day, her blood pressure will be low and she will look
younger
Even as a young person in love with a girl you dream beautiful dreams but after
the wedding you know that love is blind, but marriage is an eye opener. There
are things to put into place. Anybody who dreamt of a marriage and got married
and found that the wife will not obey his command and got disappointed because
she did not obey his command the man is sick.
The man is an unperformed husband because marriage is a union of
two opposites. A man that says stand up and a woman that says why must we stand
up. A man who likes garri and a woman who likes rice, a man who likes clothe
and a woman who has no interest in clothes. It is this mixture of two opposites
that will give the marriage life and progress. May heaven grant you wisdom in
your marriage”
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