The real reasons as to why a once healthy and beautiful relationship might begin to fall apart, are as varied and unique as the sand dunes are in the desert.
However, mostly all of them boil down to one of three main reasons:
- He is no longer interested
- He needs his own space
- He needs more love and affection from you
Depending on the type of man you have, his given personality, his needs, wants and desires - determines the way in which you need to handle the situation, and appeal to him in order to reignite the passion. Don't just let the situation go or it will snowball into a chaotic mess. Emotions will begin to be bottled up until they overflow in an unnecessary rage or resentment. Try not to let this happen between the two of you else you risk saying and doing things you might regret. Instead, confront your man kindly about how you feel and encourage that he share his feelings with you as well. Reassure him that the conversation will remain private, and try to rely on the trust the two of you have to get through any miscommunications, even if that too has been damaged.
- Do you go to bed by yourself or vice versa?
Spending time together is a must for any relationship to establish its lifelong bond of commitment. Consider staying up late with him as he watches his television shows instead of going to bed so early.
If the situation is reversed and you're the one staying up late then consider going to bed with him and reading a book as he falls asleep until you get tired. Or - better yet, both of you going to bed at the same time and waking up earlier in the day together.
- Do you sleep alone or in separate beds?
This may seem insubstantial but in reality, couples who never sleep together are giving up a small portion of that deep-seated bond and intimate connection they could potentially share by being united under the same covers.
Invest in your relationship if you don't yet have a full-sized bed that can accommodate more than just one of you.
- Does your partner stay long hours at work?
If he chooses work time over his family time then perhaps you need to be somewhat concerned. Find out what his motives are and figure out whether his extra hours are due to his trying to achieve a promotion or if he really is avoiding coming home.
Either way, a compromise is in order for this situation, ask him if he can't work overtime only a few days out of the week, or if he can't bring some of his work home instead.
- Does he still call or contact you just as often?
If his response time has slowed considerably, or if he has completely stopped answering your text messages, perhaps it is being done intentionally.
This could indicate that he isn't happy with the relationship and chooses to put it in the back of his mind. Find out what he needs from you and work on doing just that. If he cannot answer your messages because he claims that he is too busy with his work and career; the two of you need to establish a time to spend together. Even if it's only a few days out of the week or a few minutes out of each day; find what you are comfortable with and stick to that until things begin to gradually improve. Building a lifelong commitment is about compromise, trust, and acceptance.
If the two of you had a serious argument or outburst of emotion, wind back the clock and ponder when it all began to go downhill.
- What triggered the frustration from day one?
Consider apologizing whether you were the one at fault or not. If the situation was caused over something petty and avoidable, and you apologized first, he will be more receptive and willing to make amends in return.
An easy way to rekindle the lost love between the two of you is to make an honest attempt at doing something thoughtful. Cook a romantic dinner for the two of you by candlelight or leave a little love-note on his pillow for him to find the next morning.
The little things really do go a long way and the more you make an attempt at being the bigger person and doing these things for him, the quicker you will begin to experience the same treatment in return, usually twice fold!
Think back to the man you once knew and fell in love with.
Experience those same feelings and emotions that you felt way back when and act on those. That same person is still somewhere deep inside him, it just may take some fishing to bring him back to the surface.
Nothing is impossible, it is all in how willing you are to make it happen.
Bring the back the fiery passion you once had before it is too late!
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