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| Are they really together? |
One who has gotten
out of a toxic relationship should count their blessings that he/she is no
longer there. Now it’s the time to heal. You have a probability of getting
better or full recovery. Sure, you will deal with all kinds of emotional
turbulence on your journey to recovery mostly resulting from unconscious flash
backs. Just relax, process through the journey probably with the help of a
therapist, you will see yourself recover sooner than ever imagined.
Perhaps, you desire a
new and healthy relationship. Probably the ended toxic relationship has robbed
you of some pursuits in life. Getting involved in a toxic relationship drains
energy and destroys its creative power as well.
To be sure you don’t derail from the process of recovery, avoid the
following distractions.
External
pressure from your family or pressured because anyone around is married.
It’s a challenge when
you see all your friends and close family members married or in a serious
relationship-this will leave you longing to hook up immediately. But you have
to be reminded to go through the healing process to be ready for the right
person. There is a different timing for everyone, pressure will abrupt your
healing process. You must let go of unhealthy messages working round the clock
in your subconciousness and people who are not supportive in your healing
journey. They didn’t go through with you in that harmful relationship and are
neither part of the pain you are passing through. Keep individuals who will
encourage and support you in times of difficulty and loneliness.
Trying
to escape the pain and memories of the painful relationship you got out from
A good relationship beyond
your control could present intense pain. No one will want to go through such
experience hence a rush to go into another relationship which might be
unhealthy and toxic. Preventing you from grieving what has been lost for eventual
recovery. You are now in the period of delayed reaction which will eventually
catch up with you. Allow yourself the grieving period so that you can move
forward. Then get ready for a much healthier relationship than a rebound.
Inability
to recognise previous mistakes or red flags in your previous relationships
If you really want to
get it right, you have to develop the ability of recognising red flags. The
worst that can happen is to go from one toxic relationship to another. Try and
find out what red flags are and why you are always attracted to them. Awareness
should be your number one step of avoiding another toxic relationship.
If
you are driven by loneliness
Some people can still
be lonely even in a relationship. Another wrong relationship will still leave
you lonely. So if you are desperate to get into another relationship just because
you are lonely will leave you vulnerable to the wrong person.
When
you have not filled up the holes created by the previous relationships
You might still be
operating under the influence of dysfunctional patterns of your unresolved
relationships. Chances are that those unhealed areas of your life are still
operating your life unless there is a proper intervention. A therapist will
facilitate your healing by helping you see your unhealthy patterns. You can consult
a professional for a fix.
When
you don’t know what you want in relationship
People keep falling
into wrong relationships when they don’t have clear idea of what they want. For
example, what are the values you want in a person you wish to go out with? If
he is troublesome, does it matter to you? If she is dishonest, can you cope? It’s
time to do some soul searching and ask yourself “the person I’m going into
relationship with, do we share the same values or are they thinking along my
line?” Wait a minute; you want to get married so soon, so why would you go into
a relationship with someone who is not serious about getting married or
probably doesn’t want to marry at all. You will be left heartbroken again!
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