"Will He Change?"

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t may be the number one complaint men have about women, "She's always trying to change me...she was fine with me before we got married, what's the difference now?" And it may be the number one complaint women have about men, "Why won't he change? He knows this only infuriates me!"

WILL HE CHANGE? PRACTICE RESPECT AND ACCEPTANCE

Maybe it is the number one complaint, then again, maybe not. Either way, it has to rank somewhere in the top five, as often as people are heard saying it!

Here's the cut and dry, black and white of it all: he will not change unless he wants to.

That's it! So, if this is the case (and it is), the question remains: is there a possible solution to help both genders co-exist with a genuine level of contentment and acceptance regardless of this fact?

Yes! Everyone always talks about compromise in relationships, so why not on this topic as well? But in case that word is a bit confining for you, consider the approach described here instead.

SIMPLE SOLUTION TO GET WHAT YOU BOTH WANT

First and foremost, try to place your expectations of the other person within their limitations, male or female.

What this means, for example, is that if you have been dating a man for five years and he has never put the toilet seat down, even though you have asked him to a zillion times, do not - I repeat - do not expect him to start putting it down simply because you are now married! You will be sorely disappointed, and may even wind up with a wet derrière if you don't pay attention!

Placing your expectations within someone's limitations does not mean you are settling or lowering your standards. It only means that you willingly accept and acknowledge what this person will actually do, being true to themselves, regardless of your desires.

WHY ACCEPT THIS PET PEEVE AND STOP NAGGING?

Why would you accept a pet peeve that you don't like? Why stop nagging at them to do what you want? Ask yourself how it has been working so far, and when you realize it has only frustrated you further and amounted to more arguments and less cooperation, well, then you have your answer as to why you need a new approach.

When you make this adjustment willingly, two things will immediately take place: 1) you will not be as easily upset or frustrated with them and will actually feel less stressed and happier; and 2) they will not have to listen to your persistent prodding all the time about what they assumed you had already accepted about them.

Therefore, there will be more harmony in the relationship and fewer disputes, leaving more room for love and positive affection! Which leads to yet another very possible outcome...

NO GUARANTEES; UNCONDITIONAL LOVE OFTEN WINS

When people feel comfortable and unconditionally accepted by their lover, they tend to want to please them more. This usually shows itself when they begin practicing the little things that make such a big difference to the other person. Quite often, this act could very well be a simple gesture.

Keep in mind that when someone refuses to do something so simple, it may very well be just to prove the point that they do not have to change for you.

When you eliminate the need to change just to be in your presence, they often make the choice to change on their own - and everyone winds up much happier and getting what they wanted in the first place (love, mutual respect and acceptance), of course!

Before you make up your mind that this is all hogwash, try it with a pure heart and give it enough time to see what happens.