As long as
you are not aware of the ways in which you might be sabotaging your
relationship, you might fail to develop a successful intimacy time and again.
But without knowing what you do which harms your attempts at relationship, you
will not know what and how to change. Developing Self-Awareness will enable you
to understand what in your attitudes, reactions and behaviours harms your
relationship. You will then know what you need to do in order to develop and
maintain a successful intimacy.
The following
examples show how Jane's un-awareness leads her to sabotage her relationship:
Jane has
not had a long-term relationship for years, something that continues to stun
her. It's true: there was a time when she didn't want a relationship and sought
brief encounters just for fun. She was too busy pursuing her career to take
relationship too seriously. But she always thought that when she would really
want, she wouldn't have any problem finding one.
So what's
happening now, when she really does want a relationship? How come she can't
manage to find one, and gets disappointed time after time?
The
price Jane pays for being unaware
Jane's lack
of self-awareness makes it impossible for her to see and identify what is
preventing her from developing a true and lasting relationship. The only thing
that she knows is that she does want such a relationship. But
damn! What stands in her way?
When Jane
begins to look inwards, attempting to find answers, she realizes that she has
been driven by a belief system that having a relationship will
damage her professional career. This belief system has driven her to develop a
fear of commitment.
With this
understanding Jane is now able to find the balance between having a profession
coupled with a long-term relationship while keeping her independence. She now
feels comfortable about looking for a partner with whom to develop a long-term
relationship.
Self-Awareness
is vital to your ability to develop and maintain a successful relationship
If you find
yourself in a similar situation to Jane's - not understanding what stands in
your way from developing a successful intimacy - the best route you can take is
to develop your awareness: get to understand what it is that stands in your
way; get to realize how you sabotage your attempts at relationships; get to
realize the ways in which you might have shot yourself in the foot.
Although it
takes courage to look inwards, to figure out what you do which harms your
attempts, that's the only way to stop failing in your relationship and move
forward to developing a satisfying intimacy.
What
you can gain by developing your awareness
You might
hesitate to develop your awareness, fearing that time is short and you better
spend it on finding a partner and entering a relationship. But if you have
failed over and over again, it is better to take the time to understand, once
and for all, how you shoot yourself in the foot until now. You will then become
able to make the necessary changes leading to a satisfying intimacy.
No comments:
Post a Comment